This is Bear.
I was given him on my first birthday. He was obviously a lot bigger than me back then, but over the past 65 years I think I’ve finally caught up.
I was given him on my first birthday. He was obviously a lot bigger than me back then, but over the past 65 years I think I’ve finally caught up.
Bear has been through the wars.
He stayed behind in Birmingham when I left in 1977/78, swapping its grimy streets and industrial smog for the supposedly gold-paved streets of London.
When life eventually settled, I went back for him and brought him with me. He’s been with me ever since, quietly and faithfully. A constant companion and, if I’m honest, a confidant and friend.
He’s seen better days.
His ears have been replaced, new pads sewn onto his legs and paws. I'm not sure if those are his original eyes. He’s threadbare in places, but the straw stuffing still mostly remembers its shape.
Like all of us, he carries the marks of time, and the evidence of being loved.
He’s been there through marriage, becoming a father, divorce, loss, and all the unexpected twists and turns of a life that hasn't always gone according to plan. He’s outlasted relationships, addresses, jobs and entire chapters of my life.
On a practical level, he's probably not worth a great deal. An old, battered teddy bear, held together by stitching, repairs and more than a little determination.
But to me, he's irreplaceable.
On a good day he still roars, as any self-respecting bear should, though the years haven’t been kind to his voice box. Tilt him back, then bring him forward again, and out comes a low, familiar growl, heavy with the weight of sixty-five years.
These days he sits in the bedroom, wrapped in his crocheted cloak of invincibility. Always looking. Always watching. Passing the years as I change and he remains, at least in my mind’s eye, just as he always was.
Occasionally I pick him up, give him a squeeze and remember the little boy who once thought he was enormous.
I suppose we've both survived rather more than anyone might have expected.
He's still Bear.
And he always will be.
And he always will be.
